It Does Matter

I was once on a train on the way home from university and the train was really busy. There was a guy that put his phone up my skirt and before I could do anything about it, he was on the platform and left the train. Luckily, the ticket officer came around and helped me to report the offense. It did feel uncomfortable afterwards, I couldn't leave the house or I couldn't wear certain items of clothing but luckily, once the offense was reported I felt more empowered to go out and know that I'm not alone in this and it does matter to report these offences.

So, I was 12 years old and I was walking under a subway with my friend. It was quite a nice day and this man approached us in a trench coat which looked a bit weird. Before we knew it, he'd opened it up and he was naked underneath and he essentially exposed himself to us. We just screamed and he ran away but luckily there was people there to help us and help us to report it. I'm just really glad looking back that I was with a friend and we both went through it together because I worry that it could have gone further but reporting it made us know that it does matter and hopefully we've stopped it from happening to someone else. It has affected me to this day though. I won’t go anywhere on my own and me and my friends have that rule of you stay together no matter what time of day it is.

At my uni accommodation, one night I decided to take a shower but when I come out of the shower I noticed I hadn't shut my blinds properly and I saw the flash of a camera in a shadow and I panicked. Like the fact someone had violated my privacy and taken a picture of me unsolicited is disgusting and I didn't feel safe at all for a long time, and I still don't, but I never had the confidence in myself to just stand up and say something and get it reported because at the time it didn't seem serious but it does matter.

So, I was back from first year of university in the summer was with a group of friends and we were just driving along the promenade next to the beach, and we encountered a group of girls just standing next to the road and unfortunately one of my friends did actually make an inappropriate hand gesture just out the window. I instantly knew it was wrong I instantly knew that it did in fact matter. I realised that I needed to speak up quite quickly but unfortunately it was just a complete wave of confusion not knowing what to do and it was a case of in that instance I didn't actually speak up and it's something I've thought about and regretted quite a bit since.

I just moved into my university accommodation and was added to a WhatsApp group to meet new people and one of the boys from the WhatsApp group decided to message me privately and the conversation quickly became sexual and inappropriate and I felt really uncomfortable with this. He was then saying that he had seen me around the accommodation and he knew where I lived and I was just felt so scared and vulnerable. Eventually I spoke to the university about it and I'm really glad that I did because it does matter.

 I was out with my sister and a group of lads shouted something from across the street. It didn't bother me at first and I didn't really hear it but it's clear that it bothered her and I think continues to bother her, particularly when she's out with her mates. It's conflicting because of course I’d want to step up for my sister but what do I say? I didn't want to cause any trouble but at the same time I wish I'd have stepped in. I think in hindsight I wish I had the confidence to speak up because it does matter.

So, me and a couple of my friends were on a night out and when we went outside I left my drink on the table. I didn't really think much about it and then went back in and drank it. It was within half an hour I was blacked out in the toilets. I couldn't feel my legs and I could barely speak. My friends had to carry me out. They said they'd never see me like that before but said I was just too drunk. It was the next day when I thought about it and I realised I really hadn't drank that much and I’d never been like that before. I just wish I'd reported it because it does matter, it still affects me to this day and I still cover my drink and I never accept drinks from strangers.

I was in my first year of uni in halls and it was like the middle of the night, and I just had this really aggressive knock at my door. I remember just like throwing on my dressing gown and going to answer it and this guy who lived across the hall from me was there really drunk and then he tried to force himself on me, tried to kiss me, and tried to feel me up underneath my dressing gown. I managed to get him off but I just froze in that moment and just felt really scared. My friends encouraged me to speak up about it so I reported it the next day which was really good because even though he was drunk like it does matter.

Speak up, stand together, and stay safe because it does matter.